my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
