last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
