you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize