dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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