if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
