This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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