it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
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