when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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