Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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