Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
