After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
