Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
