Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
