All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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