Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
