but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
