i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
