Sorry, I don't speak sober.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize