Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
