i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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