I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
