i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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