Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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