party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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