so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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