Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He felt like a one man threesome
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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