I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
