meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
