That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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