when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
