Small penises have feelings too.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Randomize
