Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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