She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
