rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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