i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
