it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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