I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize