David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
