So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
