I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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