Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
