you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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