i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
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Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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