Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
