So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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