if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
