I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
