Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
