I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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