I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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