No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
