dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
