You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
