Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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