He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Of course I have a pirate flag
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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