How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
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That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize