I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
