A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
