Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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