Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
