I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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