Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
