college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
