how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
