How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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