the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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