I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
