Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
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