i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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